Blog 11 Stolen leaves 🍂, housing hellscape 🏠, and possibly monetization 💸

Hello gals. Recently I have been working on comics, and as always never have space to produce what I want, but I’m fighting very hard against this in new ways. The toilet will become a very important tool in restoring gynocratic civilization, because it is one of the few places where women can hide for a few minutes.

As I’m writing this, I am not on the toilet, but hiding on the second level of the house I live in. I cannot be on the first, because a family member asked (or accepted the “help” of a male neighbor to “blow” the dead leaves that have fallen on the property. I greatly enjoyed the sight and smell of these fallen leaves, and was looking forward to watching them decompose and nourish the soil. They also provide shelter for small animals. The leaves were one of the few enjoyable things to look at outside in this hellish male suburban paradise. But anything that is beautiful and natural and organic here they change or kill.

As this male neighbor circles the house, he likes to look into the windows and locate people inside. A senior male family member who lives in this house with me enjoys doing the same thing. To this house. If that doesn’t make sense to you, yeah, it doesn’t make sense for me either. It is my daily hellscape. (Imagine looking up from drawing two women in a soul-entwining embrace and seeing an old man staring at you. There is no word [of course] to describe the feeling.)

I am starting to really feel the need for money. “I can’t live here” is a phrase I have said in my brain 5 years ago. But sometimes no matter how much you say it, it is nearly impossible to escape. This is one of the patriarchy’s techniques. Down to the smallest details, not following society has consequences. If you are not directly attacked or stopped, you are bled, trampled, ignored, whittled, deprived, shunned, forgotten, driven insane, crippled, or more. Even if some family members love and say they support you, they might not let go of their deeply embedded patriarchy-serving beliefs enough to help you.

I have considered monetizing my radical feminist work out of sheer necessity. I would never ever withhold information or feminist knowledge or resources or anything from other women. I share things here for other women straight from my heart and soul. Combining that with money, even only in the form of donations, makes me feel gross. I have never sold any of my writings or art on the internet, and marketing myself makes me feel so weird. Maybe this isn’t a good attitude though, because it is a way for women to earn income independent of men and employers, and if I had money I would support so many women. Women cannot magically subsist without money for water, food, a roof, and more. I get angry when people think they magically should or can, and this attitude is always only at women, and women with children, while the petty purchases and wasteful spending of men is celebrated, and people feel the urge to give these men MORE money.

But thinking of myself regarding monetization eeeeeeee…. I feel so weird. I don’t know why. I don’t want to be dirty or seem dirty or gross…. I don’t want it to seem like I am doing this for anything other than true reasons. But at the same time, maybe being forced to stick to a schedule will cause me produce higher quality work? I have a large backlog of unpublished articles and blog ideas, and well as comics, sequential art, and political cartoons. Yikes we have tried the deadline thing before and it didn’t work… but maybe money and women counting on me will add zesty pressure.

I need to wrap up because reality is here. The leaf blowing is done, and another cohabitant has returned home. I wrote this at the end of a small reprieve while she was away, wish me luck surviving and clawing out of here. If you want, take a peek at my new comic, Clawing.

And although this is super embarrassing and awkward for me... would you like to sign up to lezzyschemer.com? You will get emailed updates when something new is posted. If you want to send an email to me, you can always send me something at mail@lezzyschemer.com 💌

Lezzy Schemer